In difficult times, like the post-pandemic, economic crisis, and the war that started in Ukraine this year, many leaders find themselves tired of the chaos and realize that they need a change.
Every change is difficult and when it comes to turning our own priorities into new goals and new habits, it can be a little overwhelming.
One of my friends shared, in confidence, that he would really like to break the pattern of chasing daily challenges and just STOP for a while to think about the job, the purpose, his passion, his career, and the next moves. He said: “I don’t really know what I want, but I know that I don’t want to continue this way and it doesn’t feel good”.
If you never have similar thoughts, this article is not for you. But if it sounds familiar, keep reading because I am about to share the coaching method that I use with my overwhelmed clients who desire order and change. I use it as a self-coaching tool myself and believe everyone can use this and really benefit from it.
I call this method ‘Mining-Shining-Refining’ because it reminds me of turning a rough rock into a perfectly selected and trimmed diamond (called “brilliant”).
Of course, for greater and faster results, it is better to do it with a coach, but if you are impatient like me, and motivated to seek some answers for yourself ASAP, this may be a good way to begin your self-discovery journey.
So here we go.
Step ONE – Mining
You will need to “mine” through everything going on in your life and career right now. This step is key to sharpening your awareness and setting a new exciting goal.
In order to give your mining a start you need to ask yourself: “What is really important for me right now?”
When answers flow to your mind write down everything. If you thought about it yesterday, it’s probably because it is currently an important aspect of your life. It all should be captured. Do not describe, justify, rank, or rephrase anything. Just capture everything that comes to your mind.
For example, mortgage, home finance, that… (difficult colleague at work), sending your kid to school, doctor’s appointments, in-laws, getting time for sport, husband’s birthday, new car order.. etc.
And make sure you don’t just circle around the one area that comes to your mind first. You cannot make a clear plan for a change without considering all aspects of your life. So, the more thorough you are when making this list, the better.
Take your time and give yourself a pat on the shoulder for all the things you have accomplished in life so far and feel good about everything you still have ahead of you. Neuroscience proves that feeling good about yourself is important when thinking about the future because it sets your mind in a creative mode and that sparks ideas.
When your thoughts are exhausted, group all the items into THREE categories.
Yes, just three, and then name these three groups as you see them – for example, Health/ Work/ Home or: Fitness/ Promotion/ House move.
You will notice that some of the items from your page will drop out, get absorbed by other, bigger ones, or suddenly new ones will come to your mind to add, it’s ok. Keep them all and keep grouping them with a sharp focus. If this starts looking and feeling like your top 3 priority areas, it means you are doing a great job.
Now is the time to “dig” deeper to find the ROCK in each category and phrase it as your Big Goal, the one thing that you really want, that you’d love to achieve and are ready to work for.
You will be looking for the type of goal that, once achieved, will most likely have a very positive impact on all other aspects of your life.
The name of the goal is more important than you think. It needs to be “sexy” enough to put a smile on your face and get you excited every time you think about it.
Sounds like hard work? It is actually an enjoyable stage because it allows you to find order and meaning in everything that happened in the past and leads you onto the right path for the future. When you find the ROCK and phrase it as your GOAL, now give it a time frame.
A long time ago, I decided that I want to buy my own place in the south of Spain. It felt crazy in the beginning because nothing but obstacles were coming to my mind when I thought about it. But when I named my goal “My own red-tiled roof in Spain before I’m 45”, I felt like a woman with a mission. Yes, of course, it included serious savings, deep research, trips, and consultations, and a few years later, I got the keys to my home in Spain. I know it may sound trivial now, but believe me, the slogan and the vision I had planted in my head kept me going for all these years. This is what you need to do for yourself. Keep it simple, limitless, and exciting for YOU.
Do not bust your gut over making it look like a SMART GOAL, as we do at work. Do not worry if it sounds unachievable at first.
When you have 3 exciting rocks and they sound like great goals, give yourself a big hug and congratulate yourself – Great MINING!
You can now take them to the next step – Shining, and Refining, just like the process of turning rock into a fine brilliant.
Step TWO – Shining
This step is about strategizing your big goals – turning your rough rock in a diamond with a clear size and shape.
Strategy is not a plan or a To-Do List. Strategy is a set of choices between what you will and will not do, with full awareness of the reasons for your choices, consequences, and clear expected outcome.
A good strategy makes you committed and excited to take action right away.
So, here is how you draft it.
Take the first goal, the one you are most excited about, and break it down into smaller pieces – your mini goals that are to be achieved in sequence to bring the big results.
For example, if your goal is “Promotion to the global role”, your mini-goals would probably be:
1) Need to get excellent business results this year
2) Upskill in X-Y-Z
3) Make family arrangements so I can be mobile and can accept business traveling
Think of a plan B in case you think things may not work the way you planned. For example, if one of your mini goals is “To upskill in X-Y-Z by June 2023”, and there is no such course available, think of a different way to learn and practice the skill. Do research on alternatives, capture the one that suits you best and move on to drafting the next strategy.
Do the same with the remaining two Big Goals.
Your rock will be shining and your STEP 2 will be completed when every one of your 3 Big Goals is broken down into as many mini-goals as necessary. There needs to be a logical sequence of action and a realistic but ambitious timeline. when you look at it and check if it all looks doable and exciting.
To test if you really are done, check how looking at your 3 BIG Goals makes you feel – if it makes you smile and wants to get going – you are ready for the final step.
Step THREE – Refining
This final step is about execution.
If bringing order to the chaos in your head was all you needed, then you can stop here and celebrate. But if you are an aspiring leader who wants clarity, real results, and change, the 3 goals and the strategies you have drafted will get you out of your chair and into action.
This is where your dreams can come true.
So, you will be working on the detailed steps and making sure that you achieve all identified goals in a very structured and safe way. At this point, structure and consistency are essential for your success. Poor execution often kills the best strategies so remember: motivation is great, but discipline is what gets things done.
Summary
This 3 step process is simple but it is not always easy to complete. A thorough Mining is critical for your success. Shining needs to end with a very clear list of realistic actions that you will be excited to take immediately. When this is done execution will happen and feel like just refining the details.
Occasional hurdles, delays, and impostor syndrome often limit us from getting what we want, so if you experience it, it is best to involve your family member, or a close friend or hire a coach (like me, Dorota Walters) to help. Let us start with my complimentary 30-minute coaching session where we will do the 3 steps together slowly, and diligently and ensure that impressive results come out.
To book, visit https://www.dwaltersconsulting.com/booking-2/
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